What to Expect from Individual, Couples, and Family Therapy
by Julie Sams, MA, LPC
Yes, I know its awkward to go to a complete stranger and share intimate details about your life and relationships, but if you can get yourself and/or your child over that initial hump of getting therapy started, odds are you will be happy that you did!
What is Individual Therapy?
Individual therapy is a process of identifying and working on issues that are important or problematic. You will work with your therapist to explore issues and develop strategies to overcome them. Often strategies such as play, art, cognitive behavioral, and behavioral therapy will be used.
Counseling requires your active involvement, including effort to change your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. To accomplish the most growth, you will need to work both in and out of the counseling sessions. Most likely, you will have to work on relationships and making long-term goals. Sometimes change will be easily accomplished, but more often it will come slowly after much work has been done.
Tremendous benefits can occur as a result of counseling, such as improve self-esteem, overcoming obstacles in life, and discovering new ways to cope with problems. However, there are also risks associated with counseling, such as experiencing uncomfortable feelings of sadness, guilt, anger, or frustration. In addition, some changes you make may lead to what seems to be worsening circumstances or even losses (e.g., friendships). If you experience uncomfortable emotions, you must try to thoroughly explore and work through these feelings.
How do you decide which therapist to use?
At Bowman Family Services we have multiple therapists, all who have certain ages they primarily treat. It can be helpful to review the therapists information, and determine which therapist you think would be best for you and/or your family. Each therapist also has certain types of problems they have more experience with. Try to choose a therapist that specializes in the area of concern you are experiencing.
Scheduling is also something to consider when choosing the best therapist for your family. Most of our therapists have part-time schedules and office hours during certain days of the week and times. Please let us know any potential scheduling conflicts. Try to arrange your schedule so you can commit to come one time a week for at least the first month of treatment. Depending on the extent of your treatment, your appointments can move to bi-monthly once you have noticed things have improved. It is often helpful to continue with an appointment once a month for an undetermined period of time, depending on your progress, once you have met your therapy goals. This is a good opportunity for you to touch base with your therapist, discuss any new concerns that arise, and make sure you are continuing to maintain progress.
The goal of therapy is to get you to the point where you do not need therapy any more, so you will set clear goals with your therapist at the onset of treatment, and your therapist will diligently work with you to help you meet your goals.
It is also best to obtain a therapist who is fully licensed in the state you are seeking treatment. This will ensure that the therapist has extensive education, training, and experience. All of our therapists are fully licensed in the state of NC.
How do I get my child, family member, friend, or spouse to agree to come to counseling?
Some children approach their parents and ask to see a counselor, while others refuse to go. For children who refuse to go, encourage them to make the choice to try therapy. If you tell your child, “You have to go to therapy no matter what!”, they can always choose to not discuss matters and refuse to try techniques and strategies that are discussed. It is best to say, “I would really like you to see this counselor for _____ (list the reason). I have heard wonderful things about this therapist and they are easy to talk to. Can you please give it a try? If you do not like it or do not get anything out of it, we will stop going after a few sessions. Thank you for being open to trying this because I think it will help.” Therapy will be so much more productive if you encourage them to try versus making them.
Some adults refuse therapy in the same way as mentioned previously with children. If a spouse, friend or family member refuses to try therapy, use a similar approach and try to encourage them to give therapy a try. Again, if you force them to attend therapy sessions, chances are therapy will not be successful. It is hard for most adults to agree to go to therapy, so discuss the potential benefits, and encourage them to attend.
What are the benefits of therapy?
Improved Communication
Better Friendship Skills
Improved Empathy
Improved Ability to Identify and Communicate Feelings
New Ways of Thinking
Better Coping Skills
Improved Problem Solving Skills
Feeling Understood
Identify new Strategies for Current Problems
Improved Stress Management
Identify Healthy Life Changes
Feeling Encouraged
Develop Short and Long Term Goals
Improve Overall Happiness
Improve Overall Health
Couples Therapy
As challenging times in a marriage arise, a trained therapist can help to guide you through. A couples therapist will help you as a couple determine goals and help you to work towards them. Premarital or Co-Parenting (Parents working towards resolving issues that arise following a separation or divorce) are also excellent ways our therapists can help.
Couples therapy can improve communication, strengthen your relationship, and make lasting changes in your marriage. As much as one person in a marriage may be open to therapy, if one spouse refuses to try talking to a counselor, it may not be a good idea to start. If you force or pressure anyone to attend therapy sessions, chances are therapy will not be successful. It is hard for most adults to agree to go to therapy, so just discuss the potential benefits, encourage them to attend, and schedule an appointment when they are on board.
Family Therapy
Family therapy is such a great way to help improve overall functioning in a family and is often used in conjunction with individual therapy in our practice. If a child or adult is being seen for individual therapy, progress can be made so much quicker with the support and openness to change of all family members. Family therapy improves communication and helps to identify areas for each member of the family to change.
The process of finding the right therapist can be daunting, so please do not hesitate to call, text, or email us with any questions. Individual therapy, couples therapy, and family is a means to reach an overall improved quality of life and life balance. We hope you will trust us to help you and your family in the journey!