“Mom, where did I put my book?”, “Dad, what did I do with my homework?”, “This kid at school is bothering me”. The problems and dilemmas faced by children with ADHD go on and on. They are impulsive, talkative, fidgety, sensitive, distracted, and are often in conflict with others. They test you again and again, and never seem to learn from their mistakes. It seems like one situation after another that you are dealing with, and you just want to help them to turn out to be productive members of this society! They have a hard time completing anything and constantly go against the grain. They can be exhausting to raise, but there are some things you can do to help.
1.Structure, Stucture, Stucture. Kids with ADHD thrive on structure. Have a set schedule that you strive to keep daily.
2.Prepare them ahead of time so they know what to expect. Let them know in the morning what they can expect for the day.
3.Have a clear rewards and consequences system that is displayed in a central location for family to see, just like teachers do in the classroom.
4.Focus on rewards. Ask them what they would like to work towards and set a specific goal. (e.g, you get straight A’s, you get ______)
5.Keep things calm.
6.No Yelling. If you yell (we all slip sometimes), tell them you are sorry for yelling. Model walking away when you are frustrated, calm down, then come back to address things.
7.Its not what you say its how you say it. State things firmly, directly, and mean business in your tone.
8.Dont let the little things go. They hit their brother, they have a consequence, they talk back, they have a consequence. At the bare minimum call them out on the things they are doing that are not acceptable, and tell them what you expect them to do.
9.Keep things organized and straight. They need to clean their rooms frequently.
10.Use a label maker. (Enough said!)
11.Tell them to do something, and do not walk away until they have actually started doing something.
12.Eliminate all distractions when they are trying to concentrate. They are distracted by the wind! Siblings need to be respectful of this!
13.Shorten tasks. Allow them to have frequent, short breaks.
14.Stay on them! Check in with them frequently to make sure they are staying on task.
15.Help them problem solve situations that come up at school. Brainstorm strategies to address situations, and do not hesitate to email or call teachers with kids concerns. Teachers need to know so they can help.
16.Let group leaders, new teachers, and other parents who are leading your child know that they are easily distracted, or nervous, or whatever they are so they can help.
17.Continue to expose your child to new sports and activities until they find the ones they love.
18.Choose activities where they are in motion and do not have to sit still alot.
19.Exercise, Exercise, Exercise. Make sure they exercise every day.
20.Rule out dietary or medical issues. Are they gluten intolerant? Are they lactose intolerant? Do they respond with hyperactive behavior to food dyes?
21.Help them to develop friendships by encouraging one on one “play dates” at your house. Provide suggestions to them for improvement with social skills.
22.Provide a lot more supervision than you think is necessary. Check in on them frequently.
23.Provide limited electronic use. Better yet, use electronic use as a reward for awesome behavior.
24.Don’t give up! They learn better skills as they age.
25.Love them with all of your might! They are precious in their own difficult way!